Friday, January 11, 2008
Online Dating
5 Vitally important Questions you should ask your Online Dating E-friend?
Online dating can be very entertaining and gratifying.
Since its inception, online dating has continuously brought people together even though they may be worlds apart. Online dating makes bridges to connect people together, enjoy each other, and build dreams together.
However, it's not always possible to instantly find somebody with whom to share the rest of your life with.
Online dating is a continuous, systematic process. It entails careful selection of words, pictures, and representations of the person involved in order to get the best results. Moreover, from the time you first find someone you think you could be interested in, remember the process will continue as you both get to know each other through a series of messages, chats, and other forms of communication.
Along with this comes the careful selection of words used and messages conveyed in order to establish natural, free-flowing, yet enlightening conversations. These are not just mere exchange of words and phrases but a way of getting to know each other.
Hence, it is extremely important to know which questions to ask so that you can get a better sense of who the other person is on the other side of the virtual screen.
Here are some of the questions that you should ask your e-friend in order to assess their personality and attitude. These questions will help to provide the necessary information regarding an individual's personal convictions and preferences.
Those who are involved in online dating just have to keep in mind that when asking these questions, they should make it appear very natural so that they will not sound like they are being confrontational.
In addition, be sure that you are also prepared to answer the same.
1. What is the major error that people make when dating online for the first time?
This question will illustrate some idea about how the other person views the opposite sex. In this way, one could get an insight on the attitude of the other person and his or her personal beliefs on some important matters like dating and relationships.
2. What are you looking for in a guy/girl?
With this question, an individual can get hold of the qualities that the other person is looking for in a companion.
However, one should take note of how the other person tries to answer the question. If the reply is passed off with a joke or some other attempt at humour chances are they have not yet thought about the answer.
3. What is a really successful relationship?
One could get a good view on how the other person values relationship. It would be better to hear the other person provide an answer regarding how the two persons who are involved in the relationship should work together as they grow.
4. What is your view on online dating services?
Through this question, a person will be able to know if the other person had some serious negative experience concerning online dating or the other way around. In addition, through the answers of the other person, one could guess if he or she is still willing to consider online dating or not.
5. Did you fail on your last relationship?
Most people would certainly blame the other person in the relationship. Others blame themselves too much. It would be better to hear some answers like they (the couple) equally share the blame and that it is just time to part ways.
The point in asking these questions is to establish a solid foundation by finding out the kind of personality and attitude the other person has. Keeping communication open is what matters most.
The problem with a lot of people involved in online dating is that most of them do not have any idea how to carry the conversation. They do not know what questions to ask and how to assess the answers that they get.
Remember that asking some reliable questions will give you an edge and you'll be more confident when the time comes to meet in person.
For More FREE Online Dating tips and advice including FREE Weekly Online Dating Newsletter please visit www.the-online-dating-handbook.com
You CAN Find Life AFTER DIVORCE
It's All About Change
One of the most radical and often devastating changes that a
person may experience is the change accompanying a divorce.
But you don't have to flounder through it all alone. What
if you had help charting a course to the life you truly
wanted to live? What if you could leverage this time of
change to create the life of your dreams? What if you
received support and guidance through the transition from
pain and confusion to thriving in your new life?
I can help.
At the core, my work with people revolves around creating
effective change - I am a skilled change agent moving
clients through the often choppy waters of a complex life.
Many of the women I work with have been through divorce and
are trying to work through the complexity of putting the
past behind them, identifying the resources they have and
those they need to help them move forward. They are working
towards a renewal of their personal power and are interested
in building self-confidence. Often they are faced with
upgrading their employment skills or entering the work force
for the first time when they are faced with financial
pressures. Some are learning what it means to be alone and
reestablishing the confidence of independence. Although it
can be an extremely confusing, often overwhelming time, the
hidden silver lining is that it can also be a potent time to
restructure, revision and recreate a life based on
principles that can bring you the fulfillment and excitement
you desire. My goal in working with you is to help you
better understand the steps needed to get you there!
I went though a divorce as a young adult with no support and
know first hand the difficulty that many people go through
when they are trying to rebuild a positive and fulfilling
life after all of the "legal dust" has settled. I
experienced first hand how difficult and painful the
rebuilding process can be with no support. My experience
coupled with over 18 years of helping people navigate
complex change establishes my ability as a trusted change
agent in developing a satisfying life after divorce.
I am so blessed to do this work because in it I participate
in the process of real and substantive positive change in
the lives of my clients. What a remarkable, real and
inspiring undertaking. It calls on me to bring myself
totally present with each of my client calls. It expands my
capacity for understanding and recognition of the amazing
opportunity we each have to affect not only our own lives
but that of the planet as a whole. It shows me and my
clients over and over again the unique qualities each of us
possess and how precious those qualities are. If each of us
truly understood that our very being ness is exactly what
our lives and the lives of others require to thrive would we
hold back anything? Would we allow the next moment to
happen, move into it and meet it fully? Would we bring our
whole selves forward on this adventure of life?
That is what real living is about - not holding back from
each individual moment whether it holds great joy or sorrow
but having the willingness to live it fully. Each moment is
a moment of change and that change can be profoundly moving
if we participate in it fully.
In this article I will be outlining several ways for you to
get started on your own right now.
Get Support:
Hopefully you already have the support of family and
friends. But finding the RIGHT kind of support is what is
key here. Often, unfortunately, family and friends, though
well meaning, may have their own agendas for you. One of the
essential components of this change is that it is based on
YOU: your clarity, your dreams and what you want. It is
vital that you determine who in your life allows you to
discover what you want and go to them. Basing your own self-
development program on what YOU want is the first step in
building self- confidence again. Make sure they have your
best interests at heart and not just what they think you
need. If this does not seem to be available, see if you have
a trusted clergy member, a counselor, a support group, or a
good coach. I believe you need ample time to discover what
it is that you want next and do all you can to support THAT.
Forgive Yourself:
The greater your willingness to forgive yourself, the
greater will be your enthusiasm and creativity in moving
forward. Many people harbor feelings of failure about their
divorce. Many blame themselves and continue to go over all
that they might have done differently. Self-judgment is like
the cross-current that will immediately send you off course.
It is the one thing that can destroy your self-confidence
and any creative idea you may have for the future. It is
often a natural way to deal with all of the chaos and
upheaval- we immediately blame ourselves or our spouse. It
is a negative attempt to gain control. But effectively it
defeats your dreams and keeps you tied to the past. Look for
ways to forgive and nurture yourself; defend yourself
against any of your self-judgments. Essentially, they are
untrue and you can move past them. My soon-to-be launched
Audio/Workbook program can give you the tools you need to
deal with Judgment.
Discover What You Want:
Often in very important relationships our identity becomes
so entwined with another that when it ends we are not sure
who we are. This perceived loss of self is actually the
deepest pain of the separation. You need time to rediscover
yourself outside of the relationship. You require enough
space and peace to be able to envision a new, bright future.
Right now you may be using your imagination to see all of
the possible negative outcomes. The important thing for you
to realize here is that you are using your imagination to
support these old thoughts and actions. Our imaginations are
an amazingly powerful and creative tool. See if you can
begin to use it to support you not hobble you.
Start by letting yourself imagine what you would like to see
in your new life. Take a moment right now, close your eyes,
take a few breaths and consider one thing you would like to
change. Use your imagination to envision or sense it already
in your life. Let yourself feel what it would be like to
have it already in place. Use the inspiration of that to
fuel your actions.
Action the Change:
Now the next important thing is to start actioning that
change. Change does not happen unless you take targeted
action. If you need help seeing how to practice making
change you can sign up for my F.r.e.e eClass that will lead
you through the basic steps of change. You can click here
http://www.conniebutler.biz/change_signup.php to sign up for
this F.r.e.e. eClass and download it immediately. You can
start making those changes right now. Use the principles in
this class to start making smaller changes so you can build
the inner strength and resolve needed to make the larger
changes effectively.
Good, targeted reading can add another level of support to
action. You can access some books to support you here:
http://www.conniebutler.biz/resources.php.
As you look at your current life and envision what you want
choose one area that you wish to change. What do you need as
support to make that change? You may need to access a
quality within yourself. The quality may be courage or faith
or strength. You may need the courage to try something new.
You may need the faith to believe the change is possible.
And you may need the strength to take the action required.
Start developing the quality that will most leverage the
change you want.
Who or what might help you take the action. Perhaps you need
a buddy. Someone who encourages you and to whom you are
accountable. Do all you can to put that support in place.
One of the things I see in my work with clients is the
necessity to notice the smallest increments of change. When
you notice change as you are taking action your motivation
for more action increases.
Continue to envision the change you want. Eventually the
momentum of action will increase and you will find yourself
moving along the line of growth and action that will bring
substantive change into your life. This is one of the most
important transitions of your life. Give yourself all you
need to create the life that will bring you the satisfaction
and fulfillment. In the process you can also access my eBook
"Thriving After Divorce - 3 Key Principles for Creating a
Fantastic Life in 30 Days" at
http://www.conniebutler.biz/divorce.php
"Nothing will change until you change. Everything will
change when you change."~ Lou DiCaprio
Connie Butler is a personal and professional coach working
with individuals and groups to clarify their greatest vision
and cultivate its successful realization moving them past
their growth frontier into new territory. She is available
for personal or professional coaching, seminars and can be
reached at 305-534-1119 or connie@conniebutler.bizMs. Butler
is an international coach, published author and radio
personality.
10 Best Valentines Gifts to Give
World over in February young couples celebrate Valentines Day with laughter and promises of undying love. The celebration knows no barriers and whether 4 or 80 years old, people with hope treasure the phrase "Will you be my Valentine."
Mid- Feb heralded in ancient Rome, the coming of spring and even in pre-Christian times people celebrated a "fertility" festival with great joy. Much later the festival celebrated on Feb 14th was in honor of St. Valentine who is believed to have signed a letter to his beloved on his death bed as "from your Valentine."
Red hearts, beautifully wrapped chocolates, balloon bouquets, and so on flood the markets and most young men are in a quandary as to what will make a "memorable gift."
Here are a few ideas to set your creativity rolling:
1. Abandon all ideas of dinner in a crowded restaurant where couples will be jostling for space. Plan a special "time for two" either on a patio over looking a garden or on a boat sailing down a moonlit river or sea. Choose to pack a picnic basket with foods that triggers off memories. For example perhaps the two of you had enjoyed chocolate donuts one day, or a pizza with toppings both love, or a cookie specially baked by you. Take along music or compose a song to sing to her. Serenade her like knights used to on bent knee.
2. If you have gathered many pictures or video clips of your time together then put together an album with specially written captions and a witty heading. You could even say "this gamine grimace enchanted me," be original and let your imagination and sense of humor take wing.
3. If you are going to be away on Valentines Day meet online for a special chat. Make it a cyber date—the World Wide Web will close up the distances.
4. Avoid the run of the mill activities and plan to go to an amusement park or fair. Have a rollicking time on the roller coaster.
5. If you know of a movie she has been dying to see –get it and plan an evening enjoying the film.
6. If she loves gizmos get her a digital camera or video phone.
7. Don your apron and chef's hat and cook a special meal.
8. Pamper her by gifting her a session at a spa she loves.
9. Plan a weekend get-away and take her somewhere special.
10. Pot a special plant for her. One that will grow and bloom along with your relationship.
Valentines Day is special so consider something unique. Most people will not have the spirit of adventure in them and try something different. They feel safer going with the crowd and presenting their love with cards, red balloons, hearts cut out of red paper or fabric, Godiva's chocolates, or a dinner in a favorite restaurant. Dare to be different and you will be remembered.
About Author: Paul Wilson is a freelance writer for http://www.1888Discuss.com/shopping-deal/, the premier REVENUE SHARING discussion forum for Online Shopping including topics on shopping deals, finding coupons, shopping discounts, price comparison, and more. He also freelances for the premier Cheap Shopping Deals site http://www.1866Shopping.com.
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